What’s In a Name?

Many of us have strong attachments to our names, never changing them or changing them upon marriage (though usually that is primarily women) as a signifier of belonging to a new clan.

          I am at an age when most of my friends are married, and in most cases,  the woman changes her last name to her husbands. There is nothing at all wrong with this idea. Your name is your own, to change at will. 

          Though it is amazing how many men will balk at women refusing to take another man’s last name or even further snort with derision at the prospect of taking on a woman’s last name. Some have said to me, “It’s just how it’s done.”

             Well no. Not exactly.  Each culture has different naming traditions for women, and not all of them require women assuming the name of their husband upon marriage. However, even if women retain their maiden name, it is often the name of their father.

ANCIENT ROME

In Ancient Rome, the naming structure to non-enslaved men were praenomen (first name), nomen (last name), and cognomen (branch of the last name).  Not all men had the cognomen, and some men would have an additional name signifying a great deed to the empire. One such person is Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus, because of him effectively ending the war with Carthage.

However, women were not given a praenomen. They would be given a feminized form of their family’s nomen and if there were two daughters, they may be given the names of maior or minor.  If there were three or more daughters, they may be given prima, secunda, tertiary etc. In public sphere, they may be called by their husbands or father’s name in addition. Gaius Augustus Caesar’s daughter was named Julia Caesaris or Vispania Meteli, wife of Metellus. 

In the later Republic, women were given feminized forms of nomens of prominent family members. Julia Caesaris married Marcus Vispanius Agrippa, and her daughters were named Julia, and Agrippina. Because let’s face it, being a granddaughter of the Emperor is totally boss.

So more often than not, a woman’s name in Ancient Rome reflected that of her father and his family and remained so upon marriage.

IMPERIAL CHINA

In late Imperial China, most families had the daughter-in-law move in with the family of her husband and the daughter-in-law would assume the name. Some cases though, especially if a family had no sons and another had sons to spare, they may require that their son-in-law move in with them and assume the family name. This is so that the family name can live on.

ICELAND

Iceland is one of the few cultures in the modern world that retain a patronymic or matronymic naming structures.

Meaning that when a child is born they are given a first name and their last name is their father’s/mother’s first name with the addition of sson/dottir.

So a child may be given the name Gunnar and if their parent’s first name is Helga and Odin, then the child’s last name may be either Helguson or Odinsson. Most often, the last name is the form of the father’s than the mother’s. They keep the name throughout their lives, which means that the women will not change their name upon marriage.

So while, it is "traditional" for women to assume their husband's name. It hasn't always been, everywhere. 

Anyone have any other naming traditions to share?

How to Create the Perfect Wife by Wendy Moore

No, this is not a manual for creating the perfect helpmeet. Abstractly it is about an experiment of sorts conducted by an 18^th century philosopher, Thomas Day.

Thomas Day had a problem. He had exceptionally ridiculous level of expectations of his future wife, and no woman could meet them or if they came perilously close they would recoil at said expectations that and bolt to the next gentleman caller.

This is the second book that I have read by Wendy Moore who again through her tenacity for research provides a nuanced view of Thomas Day and his experiment. She presents him as neither villain nor hero. But as a human man who rather surreptitiously adopted two young girls in hopes of moulding them into his human companion.

It was of course a huge folly. Thomas Day was influenced by Rosseau’s educational instruction manual, Emile, but so much like the rest of the elite of 18^th century Europe. Rosseau called for harsh integration of children into society, meaning that by immersing children into extremes of weather or play that you could create an adult that could adapt well into society. “Harden their bodies about the intemperance of season, the climates, the elements. Inure them to hunger, thirst and fatigue. Dip them in the waters of Styx”. In modernity, practicing such parenting techniques would result in the loss of your children. Most parents would be shocked at such practices. However, this was done widely by the elites, who believed Rosseau to be incredibly intelligent and above all correct in his teachings. Many parents today subscribe to parenting tomes that can strain credulity to forefathers, “spare the rod, spoil the child” would raise many a brow.

This is the world in which Day lived in, and he practiced Rosseau’s decrees with ferocity, as did his friends and colleagues with their own children. However, none used it to create their wives or companions, but they all watched Day’s experiment with baited breath.

Day used some care when selecting two young women who he would mould into his helpmeet. He went to a foundling hospital and offered an apprenticeship to two beautiful young women. This guise was soon discarded, however, the girls never did find out what the point of his education. Even after he had decided that both girls had failed to meet his expectations. Ideally, Day wanted to live a very isolated pastoral life with his love. A woman who was fleshy and buxom and intelligent, but not more so than him, one who would acquiesce to all of his demands and be happy with meagre food and living. (I know I am for one SHOCKED that he couldn't find the "right" woman). 

Set against the rich tapestry of Georgian England. This is a profound adventure of one man searching for love. 

Did Day find his perfect wife? Well. You'll have to read to find out.