Macedo, Macedon't

The past two weeks have been in a bit of a tizzy. Some were let go at work, lowering the morale of the office. A blanket of depression passes over me.

I had a house party, my first in my own home. A few frat boys failed to impress and did not cease to amuse me.  A play fight. A kissed bicep. Some bawdy talk about "chicks". Sigh. My friends were there to add some life to the party. Dancing. Good conversation. Bragging. I smile at the thought.

My day was not  worse than our historical figure of the day

Alexander the Great

Born:  20/21 July 356 BCE
Died:  10/11 June 323 BCE

When a man, especially a King, of such enormous military ability is born, his birth story is often fraught with grandiose legends. It was said that Olympias, Alexander's mother, dreamt that her womb was struck by a thunderbolt and the land was lit afire til it slowly died away. His father, Philip II of Macedon, dreamt of himself sealing up his wife's womb with the seal of a lion. Contemporary writers noted that this must have meant that Alexander had divine parentage, an oft claim of great warriors.

As a young man, he was purported to have tamed an unbreakable stallion to which his father was immensely proud. When he reached 13, Aristotle became his tutor and in exchange for his services, Phillip promised to rebuild Aristotle's hometown of Strageira (which had been plundered by Phillip).

When Alexander became 16, he was left as regent for the kingdom while his father went off to war. When Philip returned, he sent Alexander with small armies to put down some rebellions in the other states.

Philip fell in love with a daughter of one of his Macedonian generals, Cleopatra Eurydice, and there was tension because if Cleopatra produced a male heir, he could possibly oust Alexander (only half-Macedonian) from the line. After a fight at the wedding, Alexander fled with his mother (he dropped her off in Epirus) and he went to Illyria.  He came back to Macedon at the behest and mediation of family friends.


In 336 BCE (to use BC is archaic and should not be used anymore), whilst at the wedding of his daughter, Cleopatra, Philip of Macedon was assassinated by his bodyguard, Pausanias. He was immediately pursued and killed by Philip's companions. Alexander was immediately named the new king by the Macedonian army.

As his first act of King, he had his immediate rivals murdered. Many Greek cities rose up and revolt and Alexander went to the cities to quash the rebellions. He was named the leader of Amphictyonic League. Corinth gave him the title of Hegemon and named commander of the upcoming Persian War.

Alexander lead many battles, and military campaigns and became known as the foremost general of his contemporary era. I am talking very vaguely, but you cannot stop talking about Alexander the Great.

He died at the age of 32 as one BAMF.

By the way, Attila the Hun is not more badass than Alexander the Great. Screw you Deadliest Warrior.